Lou Beckett: Lessons from a Default Parent

Candid, humorous and deeply relatable, Lessons from a Default Parent delves into the unseen realities of modern family life and what it means to be the “default parent”.

This book launch event with Lou Beckett is a great opportunity to get her new book before the official publication date.

A default parent is the one who plans, pre-empts, organises and remembers; the one nursery calls first, the one who knows what day PE is, the one who plans the parties, keeps on top of the school admin and books in the sport clubs. The default parent takes on the majority of the invisible labour and mental load that comes with taking care of children, sometimes whilst juggling another full time job at the same time.

Lou Beckett – a mother of two, ex-secondary school teacher, and wife to Rob Beckett – is a default parent.

In Lessons From a Default Parent Lou weaves together her sharp wit with heartfelt advice on how to rebalance the load, tackling the emotional and logistical burdens that are rarely discussed head-on. She shares what she’s done right, wrong and downright ridiculously all inthe hopes that she gives fellow default parents the recognition they deserve and helps themfeel seen, understood and less alone.

Lou writes “This book was born out of a general frustration I was feeling at the new role of ‘the default parent’ I had found myself filling, one that I’m not entirely sure I ever really signed up for. Because as much as I love my family, the impact of having children on your sense of self is unimaginable.”

From playground politics and sleep wars, to first-hand interviews with teachers and parents, and Rob’s ‘right to reply’, Lou is open and honest about her experiences, offering the parent who manages the endless logistics of family life a guide to not just surviving the chaos, but thriving in it. She reflects on her own experiences of parenthood and the physical, mental and social impacts this new stage of life brought with it. She writes about domestic disparity, the comparison trap, how to advocate for yourself and the importance of a support network.

“Sometimes, when the children have taken three hours to go to bed because ‘they’ve forgotten how to go to sleep’ (a real complaint from my youngest), they’ve refused to get dressed for school because their trousers are ‘too soft’ (again, a real complaint from the youngest), they’ve apparently forgotten how to respond to their names and, despite getting everyone up and ready horrifyingly early, you’re still struggling to get everyone out the door and into the car as the clock creeps menacingly towards the absolute latest you can leave without having to go in through the school office walk of shame, you need to go and have a coffee with other people who just ‘get it’.” – Lou writes.

Lou ‘gets it’ and in this book offers solidarity to fellow defaults with understanding, empathy and relatable anecdotes. Written with warmth and humour, in Lessons from a Default Parent,

Lou provides much-needed comfort and community for the one who is depended on the most (and often feels appreciated the least).